Mark's Disclaimer
This was previously on Ann's Page
These days people are so protective of their rights that they'll tie everything up in complicated contracts and take out a law suit at the drop of a hat. When Mark emailed me his Disclaimer a few weeks ago, it put things back into perspective. It also made me laugh so much that I asked him if I could put it on Ann's Page.


This website was created solely by the author and his/her contributors and they retain full intellectual and financial rights to all the material within. No content of this website may be copied, in part or as a whole, by any of the following, but not inclusive means, whether: copied, facsimiled, mirrored, reproduced, replicated, duplicated, re-written by hand, calligraphic copied, illuminated, hand carved onto slate, stone, wood or other medium, without express written, thrice copied and posted through registered mail, permission of the author and contributors.

Neither may it be: photographed, micro-dotted, carbon copied, photocopied, wax moulded, spray painted, put onto canvas, tattooed onto intimate parts of the body, counterfeited, faked, imitated, mimicked, parodied, or used for satire, irony, sarcasm, mockery, derision, ridicule or derision, particularly in an offensive use against any other member of this or any other planet or plane of existence.

We wish it known that any opinions in this website, are purely the views of the author and contributors and are not necessarily those of the publisher, printer, translator, interpreter or the reader. We also wish it to be known that any work created by the aforementioned is merely there for entertainment purposes and should be taken in the context in which it was originally created. It is not their intention to impress their views on any other person, species or entity, and they do not intend to harm, upset, distress, hurt, disturb, sadden, wound, offend or endanger any other being, or non-being in any way by the opinions, judgments, views, beliefs or outlooks that are represented in this website.

Any material in this website that seems similar to any other item that you may have read, seen or dreamt about, whether from past, present or future is purely coincidental and/or the product of the author's deranged imagination. Any names, people, animals, entities, or places used in this website are not related to any other personages either living, dead, un-dead, corporally or spiritually challenged, whether from past, present or future, from this planet, plane, dimension or parallel universe, and any similarity to the said person is definitely purely coincidental accidental, unintended, fluky, and totally unplanned.

This website may not be used in part or as a whole for: propaganda purposes, misinformation, heresy, acts of: terrorism, violence, intimidation, neither may it be used for: declaration of wars, religious acts or foundations, acts of racism, speciesism or even violent arguments.

No viruses were contracted or detected in the creation of this website, and it was deemed 'virus free' when it left our office, but we cannot 100% guarantee that it will forever remain in this state and therefore dismiss any claims that future viruses contracted via this website, were in any way originally connected with ourselves.

The authors and contributors to this website also dismiss any legal claims in which the reader of this article suffers from any illnesses or accidents (including death) from the of reading or viewing of this website or any of its associated content, or any other actions that they have partaken in either in their own names or any others they may have used in the past, present or future. They do not under any circumstances take responsibility from readers suffering from eye strain, radiation poisoning, choking on their lunch or the paper that it was printed on, falling off of high objects, crashing motorised vehicles, or being struck by any mode of transport whilst laughing, crying or otherwise distracted from reading or viewing anything within this site. Neither do they take responsibility for any injuries or deaths, such as spontaneous combustion, alien abduction caused in any way related to this website, whether accidental or through acts of god, gods, deities, devils, demons, bad spirits, ghosts, manito's, witches, warlocks, mages sorcery, extra-terrestrial life, or whatever atheists believe it is when they are struck by lightning whilst walking in the park on a bright sunny day.

Veterinary surgeons, general practitioners, homeopaths and other alternative medicinal professions have found that this web-site is unlikely to cause any of the following: R.S.I., arthritis, respiratory tract conditions, heart disease, kidney malfunction, diabetes, under or over active thyroids, renal failure, ulceration, cancerous cells, tumours either malignant or benign, glaucoma, cataracts or other eye diseases, infertility, impotence, leukaemia, other blood disorders, or clotting, haemorrhaging or even haemorrhoids. Neither is the reader likely to contract any sexually transmitted diseases through viewing this website. This website and its content were largely created in a vacuum and have in no way ever been used in the process of bacterial growth or culture collation. As far as they (or we) can ascertain it is unlikely to be able to pass on such illnesses as colds, influenza, infections, rabies, measles, chicken pox, small pox, bubonic plaque, yellow fever, malaria, rubella or any other contagious ailments.

This website is free from genetically modified or manipulated ingredients, both in its creation and in its production. It does not contain any nut products or by-products from nut associated materials and is gluten, sodium and sugar free. It contains no artificial sweeteners. E numbers or preservatives. It is both negligible in its contents of cholesterol, fats or other weight gaining ingredients. This website is also free of any meat products or by-products from animals, fish, insects or plants and so should be suitable for vegetarians, vegans, other non meat eaters, insectivores, carnivores and omnivores.

No beings, sapient or otherwise, were harmed in the making of this web-site, neither were any animals used in its pre-testing, other than those who were voluntarily willing to sit and digest this meaningless drivel. This website is also calorie free, although it must be stated that: its vitamin and mineral content are also very negligible; so we do not condone its usage as part of a weight loss, gain, sugar free, iron rich or high carbohydrate diet. The author and contributors to this web-site wish to make it clear that they cannot guarantee the medium on which you view this website, is free from, or includes any of the above.

Lastly, if you have just sat and read the whole of this disclaimer, thank you, but haven't you anything better to do?

This disclaimer is copyrighted by Mark St Jefferson October 2000



If you enjoy Mark's brand of humour, then have a browse around his website, Cats Paw It's a personal favourite of mine, one of the most original you'll ever see and if you don't laugh out loud at least once, then you're a sad person!

(Spock and Dracs would like it to be known that their resemblance to the Brown Paw Gang, featured in the Cats Paw Feline Felons section is purely and utterly coincidental and potentially libellous.)

If you'd like to see what was previously on Ann's Page, go to Archives If you'd like to know when Ann's Page changes, join our mailing list below.

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